Well, for maybe the first time all season, I can say that this week was a rollercoaster, in a good way. Before it was all rickety and terrifying, but December 21st felt like an exciting, safe trip around the rails with a pleasing and safe destination. Namely: playoff contention. As always, this week’s column contains uncredited and unappreciated info and insight from Ryan “Leaky Pipes” Thies, Shar “Go Jeffy G” Higa, and JJ “Knockin’ on Wood” Fiddler.
1. I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around how good that Chargers/Bucs games was. I had some serious fanbiguity going, as my wife is a Jeff Garcia fan, but—not to belabor a point that everyone’s making—that was like watching the 2008 Chargers we expected. A playmaking defense (two picks, two sacks, a fumble, and one spurting gash to the opposing QB’s nose), and a juggernaut of an offense (4 TDs from Rivers!). They looked so good that last week’s lingering questions about, “Man, where was this two months ago?” have disappeared, and I’m just enjoying the ride now.
2. In December of this year, we’re now 3-0, by a combined 97-52. On the season, the Bolts’ net points stands at 61—next highest in the division is the Broncos, still one game ahead, at -47. You read that right.
3. I’m sick of this Ciroc Puffy commercial—I mean, why do people (Ciroc) insist on putting their name (Ciroc) out there with endless repeats of the same commercial? It’s like they think just by repeating it over and over again (Ciroc) they’ll lodge it in your brain. Ciroc. Damnit.
4. The difference between this team in December (call it love of the cold, knowing when to turn it on, whatever) is this stat—the Chargers outgained the Bucs by 28 yards, and turned those yards into a 17 point win. That means the defense was firing and special teams came up big (172 return yards).
5. Everyone seems to think LT is back full strength—let’s keep in mind this Bucs run D seems to have completely imploded, and I’m not really prepared to fall down on my knees in praise with a 4.3 yards per-carry average. That’s not full strength LT. Take away his longest run and he’s averaging 3.8. The fact that he went over 1,000 yards with the disappointing season he’s had proves that there probably isn’t a more overrated stat—if you had 20 carries in sixteen games, all you’d need to average is 3.1 yards a carry to hit a grand. That makes LT’s 3.6 average on the season look overachieving.
6. Was anyone else shocked by the Friday the 13th scene going on with Jeff Garcia? As a 49ers fan I knew that guy was gritty, but he was literally spitting blood out of his mouth as he went through the snap count.
7. Ciroc.
8. At the end of this game, Pipes heard on the radio that the Bolts would be flying back west immediately, and wouldn’t have the Bills/Broncos game (which they needed the Broncos to lose if they wanted to stay in playoff contention). The way they were kept updated was apparently by scrolling info at the bottom of ESPN, which they got inflight. Next time maybe they’ll opt for JetBlue.
9. I’ll be honest—it wasn’t on TV, and I didn’t see any way in hell the Bills were actually going to win in Denver in December, so I went out to catch up on Christmas shopping when the score was 13-0 Broncos. Then, I was walking down 2nd Street when I passed a bar, literally just as the final failed fourth down was starting. I saw the ball get broken up, celebrated with Chargers fans for thirty seconds, and then fielded the phone call from Pipes: “We’re going to a game next week!” About ten minutes after that NBC announced they were flexing the game to primtime. Wow. Despite gaining 532 yards, the Broncos put up only 23 points, lose the game, and now have to beat the Bolts in San Diego if they want the division. If the Chargers win, they get the division crown and a playoff berth at 8-8. Football is a beautiful thing.
10. I won’t leave you on this down note, but here’s something Pipes asked: “Would it be more in keeping with this season for the Bolts to lose to the Bucs, beat the Bucs and have the Broncos beat the Bills, or Beat the Bucs and have the Broncos lose to the Bills, only to embarrass us at home next week?” This conversation happened before we thought there was any actual possibility of the latter, but I admit, that seemed most like the 2008 Chargers. Hopefully I’m wrong. After all:
11. “Anything is poooossiiiiiblllllleeeee!” –Kevin “Ciroc” Garnett