So we had a big win at home, and then made a long east coast trip, with high expectations and lofty hopes.  Then, a gritty, perhaps underrated AFC East team dashed our dreams and left us with a losing record, scrambling to find answers to explain why.  Yes, that’s right, I’m just going to rerun my Dolphins column… Kidding, kidding.  Or am I?  As always, this week’s column contains uncredited and unappreciated comments from Ryan “Leaky Pipes” Thies, JJ “Wop-Pop” Fiddler, and Shar “My Wife” Higa.

1. So for this game, I’m going to try something new.  I usually have my computer open to track fantasy teams, the other NFL games, and the picks league that Fiddler and I are in.  Today, I’m going to just sit back and watch this game—I’ve covered a ton of football in the last month, and I’d like to just watch a game in my sweatpants, before we head over to Pete’s at the Beach for the afternoon contest.  We’ll see how well I can resist temptation.

2. Uh…where’d the game go?  CBS says they’ve lost power in Buffalo, and I’m now watching Steelers/Bengals.  Nooooooooooo…….

3. Well, I guess the computer is now a necessity, except that there aren’t any updates on gameplay.  Dangit!

4. Well, I guess I might as well update you on something else.  The cleaning at my house is going well, the kitchen looks nice and I’ve got most of the dishes washed.  Shar did laundry yesterday, so our sheets and clothes are clean.  Um…crap.

5. Game’s back!

6. Game’s gone.

7. Let’s talk about what I imagine is happening.  I’m guessing that right around now, LT is getting two and a half yards running up the gut.  Geez, this is depressing.

8. I just realized that Gumble and Dierdorf are doing exactly what I wanted to do right now: kicking back and watching the game.  Must be a nice afternoon for the booth guys: when was the last time they watched a game without having to talk about it?

9. And they’re back again, only for Gumble to call the Chargers the Charge-AIRS.  How do you mispronounce a two syllable word?

10. Phillip looks terrible today, and if we’re going to be a big-passing offense, we can’t have that.  He’s now lost a total of ten fumbles in his career—twenty percent of those were tonight.  Ack!

11. Er, honestly, I don’t know what else to say about that game.  It’s pretty obvious what happened: their defense played better than our offense, our defense played worse than their offense, we didn’t make plays on special teams, and our QB (the highest rated passer in football) turned the ball over three times.  We rushed for under 100 and threw for under 200, and didn’t sack the quarterback once.  That’s not Chargers football.

12. I know what happened today.  There’s a theory in physics that say, “All things have matter, thoughts and prayers exist, and must therefore have some slight corporeal existence.”  By not showing half of this game today, CBS somehow kept those thoughts from reaching the Chargers on the field.  The only people who saw the whole thing were 60,000 people in the stadium who hated them.  If our good wishes had made it there, they totally would have been able to block, and tackle, and break tackles, and…who am I kidding right now?

13. Well, I had my worst football day in a long time.  The Bolts lost, my Niners lost (and looked turrible), fantasy went badly, and I didn’t make any money in my picks league.  There are days when football is great, days when it sucks but you love it, and, every few years, a day like today: a day that sucks.  Let’s get it back in London, Bolts!