TBL learned that the amount of tryptophan one needs to consume in order to slip into a white meat (never dark meat) induced coma amounts to an entire turkey’s worth of gluttony, or as a friend put it, not a “healthy amount.” To compensate, because we all need our sleep, TBL watched three consecutive NFL games and concluded that it was the most milquetoast Turkey Day lineup in recent memory. Yawn.  

A tattoo on the side of one’s head does not make one more likely to play basketball, even if one is paid over $20 million to do so. The chump in question, of course, is Stephon Marbury, one of the NBA’s highest paid players who has decided not to play for the New York Knicks for what TBL assumes is a horrible reason.

If an athlete in a nightclub is not shot by another person, this does not necessarily mean said athlete will not be shot. Yes, Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg last Friday night in a New York nightclub. TBL has long held a suspicion that Burress was in fact a blowhard, but this sort of buffoonery is unprecedented, even in our modern NFL, raunchy as it is. Burress can face criminal charges if he does not have a license to carry a concealed weapon in the State of New York. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is just glad Burress shot himself.

There is no defense in the Big 12. I was formerly in the camp that wrote off the high scores of Big 12 games due to the conference’s vaunted arsenal of quarterbacks. But then I watched another high scoring shootout—Oklahoma at Oklahoma State—and wondered if the Big 12 had eliminated the rules protecting bump coverage. I love good offense, but I think offense should be measured against good defenses—I’ve yet to see one in the Big 12, and thus I’m not buying either Oklahoma or Texas. Chances are this is just a phase. If Texas and Oklahoma get shut down in their bowl contests by physical defenses, it will be phase that ends quickly.

Charlie Weis is not, despite his title, a head coach. I’ll keep this brief as I’m sure most of you are too young to remember (or care) about past Notre Dame Football dominance.  But to be frank, Weis is probably the worst “coach’s coach” I’ve seen in recent memory, meaning, among other things, he cannot inspire his team to win. He has recruited outstanding talent to Notre Dame and many Irish fans will thank him for leaving such a potent starter set for the next coach. But head coaches need to understand the importance of fundamentals. Head coaches need to motivate. And specific to Notre Dame, head coaches must not get blown out by USC, time and time again. It’s really not that complicated.