AFC
Teams That Have Clinched
Tennessee Titans– 1st seed, AFC South Champ
The remaining game against the Colts is now meaningless; neither can change their seed in any way. You know what that means: Vince Young vs. Jim Sorgi. It’s amazing NBC didn’t want to flex that matchup to Sunday Night.
Pittsburgh Steelers– 2nd seed, AFC North Champ
The Titans game has to seriously dent the Steelers’ ego. They gave up 31 to the Titans; they had given up 32 total points in the last 3 weeks combined. Those 3 opponents? The Patriots, Cowboys, and Ravens. They should really be afraid of the Titans. Or they could just chalk it up to the Sports Illustrated curse and move on.
Indianapolis Colts– 5th seed Wild Card, trip to AFC West winner
They have locked up the fifth seed, and will play the winner of SD/Den. A win over the Titans this Sunday means they enter the Playoffs with a 9-game win streak.
In control of their destiny
Miami Dolphins- schedule: @ NYJ
If they lose, they are done (even if the Pats AND Ravens both lose). A win over the Jets gets them the AFC East title and the 3rd AFC seed. Of course to get that win Chad Pennington will have to go to New York in December. The forecast for this Sunday: a high of 48 degrees and showers. The knock on Chad Pennington has always been his play in cold-weather and his play in big games, and part of me wants to see him overcome that this Sunday. But then the part of me that’s a Jets fan tells that other part to shut up.
Baltimore Ravens– schedule: vs. Jacksonville
Just three weeks ago I thought hosting the Jaguars this Sunday was going to be an easy game. Now the Jags look downright dangerous. But after facing the Steelers (twice), Titans, Colts, Giants, Eagles, and Cowboys, this Baltimore team has plenty of experience in big games. Win this game and the Ravens are traveling to the AFC East winner on wild-card weekend. Also they have the tie-breaker over the Pats and Dolphins, so if the Ravens lose they can still make it if everybody else loses too.
Denver Broncos– schedule: @ San Diego
The Broncos have to go on the road to a (now) dangerous Chargers team in order to avoid a monumental collapse. Do you realize this Denver team beat the Chargers, the Buccaneers, the Falcons, and the Jets? How is this team struggling to stay above .500? Oh, they lost to the Chiefs, Raiders, and Bills. And I thought the Chargers were a rollercoaster.
San Diego Chargers– schedule: vs. Denver
Last year when the Chargers finally turned it on they had a number of fluky wins (Vinatieri’s missed FG for the Colts, a lucky Chris Chambers catch to beat the Titans) that put them into the playoffs. This year those fluky wins include both games against the Chiefs (the stopped 2-pt conversion in game 1, the-breath-of-God pushing the FG wide in game 2), and they just might get into the playoffs again. All they need is to beat the Broncos at home this Sunday…but which Chargers team will show up?
Need Help
New England Patriots– schedule: vs. Buffalo
They still aren’t in control of their own fate but they do have a few ways to get in. Lose and they are done. But if they win…
-and the Dolphins lose, then the Pats win the East (and host the Ravens or Jets)
OR
– the Dolphins win then they need the Ravens loss to get the Wild Card (and go to Miami)
But if the Dolphins win and the Ravens win, then it doesn’t matter what the Patriots do.
New York Jets– schedule: vs. Miami
They are now 0-4 on the West Coast, those 4 teams they lost to have a combined 21-39 record. And yet if they beat the Dolphins this weekend and get a little help and none of that matters. If they lose they are done.
If they win…
-and the Patriots lose, then the Jets win the East.
OR
-and the Ravens lose, then the Jets get the wild-card.
NFC
Clinched
New York Giants– 1st seed, NFC East Champs
They have cinched the 1 seed, and made this game meaningless for them. But I just went through this year’s TV schedule, and in the Los Angeles media market we have seen 14 of the 15 games the Giants have played so far. The only one we missed? The week 3 game against the Bengals, and even that one CBS cut to in time to show OT. I have seen this team more than I have seen the Chargers, and I have Chargers season tickets.
Carolina Panthers– schedule: @ New Orleans
They have clinched a playoff berth (via Tampa Bay’s loss) but they still have not clinched the NFC South. If they win, they get it; if Atlanta loses, the Panthers get it. But if the Panthers lose AND the Falcons win, then Carolina goes in as a wild card.
Arizona Cardinals- 4th seed, NFC West Champs, remaining schedule: None that they know of
So last week I jokingly suggested Arizona wouldn’t go to New England. They lost 47-7 in the snow. How do you let a team score 47 points on you in the snow? That has to be a record, right? Here’s my theory: Arizona didn’t show up, the NFL heard they canceled their flight and spent all of Friday and Saturday looking for body-doubles, then bought them Cardinal jerseys and hoped no one would notice. The Cards host Seattle this weekend, I wonder how many points they will give up when weather isn’t a factor?
Atlanta Falcons- schedule: vs. St Louis
I just couldn’t figure why the Falcons had clinched when they were only 1 game above the Cowboys and Bucs with one week to go, so I sent an email out to a few friends and my friend Sean McMorrow came back with the answer: record against common opponents. Even if the Bucs beat the Raiders this weekend, the Falcons still have a better record against their 10 same opponents. The only game that the Falcons won that the Bucs lost, basically the one win that puts the Falcons in: the Chargers. What a weird year.
Anyway, if the Falcons win they get the 5th seed (and possibly the 2nd seed if Carolina loses.) The 5th seed gets them a game at Arizona, the 2nd seed gives them a bye. If they lose they probably get the 6th seed but they’re playing St Louis so let’s just assume they win.
In control of their destiny
Minnesota Vikings- schedule: vs. NYG
Their collapse won’t be as bad as Denver’s but this would still be pretty devastating for a team that fell just short last year too. If they beat the Giants (who have nothing to play for) OR if the Bears lose to the Texans then the Vikings get the North. If they lose and the Bears win, they are out completely.
Dallas Cowboys– schedule: @ Philadelphia
Do you think the NFL schedulers are Cowboy-haters? I mean surely someone had to say “Dallas never plays well in December, let’s give them the toughest schedule possible just to mess with ‘em.” No matter the reason, the Cowboys win this Sunday and they are in. If they lose they are out. No pressure, Romo.
Need Help
Chicago Bears– schedule: @ Houston
They are playing the same time as Minnesota so the Bears won’t know anything coming into the game, they will just have to try to win and hope they get some help. If they do win, and the Vikings lose, the Bears get the 3rd seed and they get host a game, in Chicago, in January. Even if the Vikings win, if the Bears win AND the Cowboys and Buccaneers lose then Chicago gets the sixth seed.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers- schedule: vs. Raiders
Assuming Jeff Garcia’s face heals enough for him to play, they aren’t in terrible shape. All they have to do is beat Oakland (easy enough) and then hope the Eagles beat the Cowboys.
Philadelphia Eagles– schedule: vs. Cowboys
Dallas actually has to be kinda thankful that their game was moved to the afternoon. Now Philadelphia will already know if they have a shot or not. If Tampa wins early, the Eagles are out. If the Bears and Tampa lose, and then if the Eagles beat the Cowboys, Philly is in. But then again, even if the Eagles are already knocked out will they phone it in against the Cowboys or will they play hard just to knock out Dallas?
With all due respect to the Tampa Bay Rays, there is no sport that has as big a one-year turnaround as football. Last year the Tampa Bay Buccaneers won the NFC South with a 9-7 record, they were the only team in the division with a winning record. This year the Bucs could end up with a 9-7 record and be tied for last place in the division. Oh NFL, please don’t ever change.