The 1983 NFL draft class is generally considered the gold-standard by which all future drafts should be measured–and with good reason, since ’83 had 40 guys that made a Pro Bowl.  In fact the Class of ’83 went on to have 6 Hall of Famers, including three of the All-Time Great QBs–Elway, Kelly, and Marino (although let’s be honest, a combined record of 2-8 in Super Bowls is pretty embarrassing.)  These three QBs, along with a Hall of Fame RB (Eric Dickerson), a HoF OL (Bruce Matthews), and a HoF DB (Darrell Green), have prompted the classic debate: if you could have just one player to build your franchise around, who do you choose?  

Well, the ’83 Class is no longer the best ever–there’s a new sheriff in town and it arrived on the scene in April of 2004.  After just 5 seasons, the Class of ’04 has produced 27 Pro Bowlers, multiple Super Bowl winners, and even some postseason records.  So now the question must be asked again: if there was a re-do of the 2004 NFL draft, how would the Class of 2004 be ranked?

The Non-Pro Bowlers

40. JP Losman, Buf (22^nd overall): probably will spend his career as a backup QB–-if only because it’s hard to respect a guy named “JP.”

39. Tank Johnson, Dal (47^th overall by Chi): he will be a great D-lineman for a Texas penitentiary team in the next 5 years.

38. Igor Olshansky, SD (35^th overall): not a traditional pass-rushing DE, but he can be good in a 3-4; bonus points because it’s fun to yell “Igor” every time he makes a play.

37. Shaun Phillips, SD (98^th overall): has almost 40 sacks in his career; will be ranked higher if he and Shawne Merriman do a reality show like the Two Coreys.

36. Patrick Crayton, Dal (216^th overall): he’ll never be better than a 3^rd WR; but most 7^th round picks don’t even make the team, so a small victory for Dallas’ front-office.

35. Julius Jones, Sea (43^rd overall by Dal): he’d be very good if he could just stay healthy, which is kinda like saying Dennis Kucinich would be President if he could just win the election.

34. Dunta Robinson, Hou (10^th overall): had a great rookie year (87 tackles, 6 ints) but has struggled since; Texans, you should be thankful for the Lions, otherwise people would start noticing how many terrible draft picks you’ve made.

33. Vernon Carey, Mia (19^th overall): Jake Long gets the hype, but with 64 career starts (including 59 in a row,) Carey might be more important.

32. Robert Gallery, Oak (2^nd overall): has started 73 career games, including 34 in a row–although in typical Raider fashion he’s the only pick in the Top 8 that hasn’t made a Pro Bowl.

31. Lee Evans, Buf (13^th overall): Webster’s defines “solid but not spectacular” as:  two 1000+ yard seasons, no missed game in his NFL career, 300+ career touches (and only 3 career fumbles lost), and 32 career TDs.

30. Chris Gamble, Car (28^th overall): the biggest Pro Bowl snub of the class, he has 355 tackles, 46 passes defended, 4 forced fumbles, and 20 interceptions (two of which he returned for TDs). 

29. Jerricho Cotchery, NYJ (108^th overall): in the last 3 years he has 2949 yards, each of the last 2 years he’s led the Jets in catches, and last year he became the most famous Jerricho ever.

28. Matt Schaub, Hou (90^th overall): currently battling David-Carr-syndrome, a rare and debilitating disease caused by having to play behind Houston’s O-line; but in his final 8 starts this year he went 6-2, and despite playing in only 11 games he threw for over 3000 yards with a QB rating over 90. 

The Pro-Bowlers

27. Andy Lee, SF (188^th overall): obviously I’m putting someone that made a Pro Bowl over someone that didn’t, otherwise a punter would never be this high.

26. Nate Kaeding, SD (65^th overall): if a team takes a kicker with the 2^nd pick of the 3^rd round he’d better be damn good; fortunately for the Chargers, Kaeding is.

25. Stephen Jackson, StL (24^th overall): he probably should be higher than this, but he killed my fantasy team for the last two years and that’s not the kind of thing you just forgive a guy for.

24. Shawn Andrews, Phi (16^th overall): started 47 straight from ‘05 to ’07 and became one of the Eagles’ top O-linemen before being diagnosed with depression (insert “that’s what playing in Philadelphia does to you” joke here). 

23. Darnell Docket, Ari (64^th overall): he’s 6’4”, 290, he’s never missed a game in his NFL career, he had 9 sacks in 2007, he was orphaned at age 13, and this Sunday he will play in the Super Bowl…I don’t think I’m going to make a snide comment about him, now or ever.

22. Nathan Vasher, Chi (110^th overall): in his first two seasons, he got 13 ints and 2 TDs.  But one of them was off of Ken Dorsey, so it doesn’t really count.

21. Jason Peters, Buf (undrafted): probably a little higher than he deserves, but he gets a bump for being one of three undrafted players from ’04 to make a Pro Bowl, and Peters has 55 career starts at tackle…plus two touchdown as an O-lineman!

20. Will Smith, NO (18^th overall): got at least 7 sacks each of his first four years (including 10.5 in 14 games in ’06) but it seems Hancock and Seven Pounds really took a toll on his career-–this past year he had only 3 sacks.

19. Tommie Harris, Chi (14^th overall): very nearly the Defensive Rookie of the Year in ’04, he’s a multi-time Pro Bowler and the anchor for the Bears’ D-line.  I have no joke here, he’s just really good.

18. Nick Hardwick, SD (66^th overall): San Diego’s starting center since day 1, and he just seems like an O-linemen-–somehow you just know that if you were in a dog-pile he would poke you in the eye or yank your balls until you gave up the football.

17. Roy Williams, Det (7^th overall): without a doubt he was the best Lion player for quite a few years (which of course isn’t saying much).  Now that he’s out of Detroit, we’ll start to see what he can really do.

16. DeAngelo Hall, Was (8^th overall by Atl): when even the Raiders think that you aren’t playing hard and you commit too many penalties, you know you’ve crossed a line.

15. Jonathan Vilma, NO (12^th overall by NYJ): I probably overrate him because he was a Jet, but in 4 out of his first 5 seasons he did not miss a game and recorded at least 100 tackles (including a career high 169 tackles in ’05 with New York). 

14. Chris Cooley, Was (81^st overall): Cooley is the 2^nd best pass-catching TE from this draft class, and his was the 2^nd most famous incident of a TE “accidentally” showing his junk this year.

13. Vince Wilfork, NE (21^st overall): nose-tackles and O-linemen definitely the hardest skills in sports to statistically quantify–-but when someone is a Pro Bowler and has played every game in two seasons resulting in Super Bowls, they get ranked pretty high in my book.

12. Wes Welker, NE (undrafted): there are two lessons to be learned from him: 1) the Pats can turn anyone into a Pro Bowler and 2) scrappy white receivers will always be popular with NFL fans.

11. Kellen Winslow, Cle (6^th overall): there are two Class of 2004ers that were sons of famous NFL players, and two ’04ers that were involved in prominent motorcycle crashes.  Thank you, Kellen Winslow, for being the middle sliver of that particular Venn diagram.

10. Sean Taylor, Was (5^th overall): obviously this is the elephant in the room of the 2004 Draft.  Just how successful could he have been?  We’ll never know, but hopefully his legacy will be that the Cribs generation of NFLers now realize how serious their security risks are.  Carrying a gun to a club is not the appropriate reaction, but NFL players have bull’s-eyes on them and Sean Taylor’s death is a sad reminder of that.

9. Chris Snee, NYG (34^th overall): the class of ’04 was so good that it has guys like this: an O-lineman I’ve never even heard of who’s a Pro Bowler, a Super Bowl champion, and hasn’t missed a start in more than 4 years.

8. Jared Allen, KC (126^th overall): he once claimed on MNF that he was home-schooled, which would explain a lot about his personality…and his mullet.

7. Philip Rivers, SD (4^th overall): I do wonder what the NFL would look like if the Chargers had kept Drew Brees.  But, then again, what would the NFL look like if Rivers didn’t have a contract dispute that kept him out long enough to give Brees’ career a second chance?

6. Eli Manning, NYG (1^st overall): while the Rivers/Manning trade debate is definitely worth having, right now, despite inferior stats, Elisha gets the nod for having won a championship.

I hope that seeing Rivers and Manning not even crack the Top-5 in their draft class will give you some indication of just how good that draft was.  But to find out exactly who the Top-5 are you’ll have to come back Monday (here’s a hint: #1 will just have led his team to a Super Bowl win).