The headline was taken from a quote by Cris Collinsworth during the game, after he spotted Norv Turner chuckling at a stupid Raiders penalty.  It’s one of my favorite Raider-mocking moments, and nearly makes up for Collinsworth being on television for the last decade.  Almost.  So obviously, there’s a lot to be happy about this week…sort of.  But we’ll get to that later.  For now, allow me to point out that this week’s column, as usual, contains uncredited and unappreciated wit and witticisms from Ryan “Leaky Pipes” Thies, JJ “Sleepy Face” Fiddler, and Shar “My Wife” Higa.

1. First, a note to explain why I wasn’t actually at the game.  I was tired, and Pipes had class, and, to be honest, Raiders games scare the piss out of us.  Our first game at Qualcomm, three years ago for a preseason matchup, we were sitting next to a short, scrappy-looking dude who had his six (seriously six) young sons in tow, all of whom were clad in LT jerseys.  He explained to us that Raiders games were basically a 70,000-person octagon fight, and that he always made it his goal to be arrested by halftime.  “But sir,” I asked him.  “What happens to all the little LaDainians?”

2. Sounds like a weird crowd there, kind of like the crowd last week—not really sure when to cheer and when to sob quietly into their commemorative beer cups.  Yes, things are going well, but we need a miracle to make the playoffs, and I doubt the Broncos will oblige. 

3. Finally!  A complete game!  This is the first time our offense and defense have seemed in sync—we scored 34 and only allowed seven.  Gave up 163 total yards.  Gained 372.  Three sacks (2.5 by Shaun Phillips, whose emergence we’ve been awaiting all season); three picks; a forced fumble.  Rivers was accurate, LT looked like at least a shadow of his former self…seriously, can’t we just change the rules so we can play the Raiders every week?

4. Yes, this win was over the Raiders, but if you watched it, you knew—it wasn’t just the lack of a quality (or even NFL-worthy) opponent that boosted this team.  They finally turned it on—guys were hitting, the offensive line got a little nasty, and LT stopped shrinking from contact, instead running through it and around it.  Still, WHY CAN’T WE PLAY THE RAIDERS EVERY WEEK?!

5. I pose a question to JJ: Would you rather the Bolts just be so-so for the rest of the season?  I mean, doesn’t it make it hurt more to know that they could have been good all year, if they’d just gotten fired up?  His response: “I see your point, but I don’t care.  Let’s beat the crap out of the Raiders.”

6. Fair enough, JJ.

7. As I mentioned, Pipes was in class, but he was apparently tracking the game via the interweb, in some kind of 21^st-century witchery that I can neither describe nor comprehend.  He hasn’t given up on the playoffs yet, and for that I both love and pity him.

8. A few more positives: V. Jack is back!  It’s actually Vinny more than any other player that has me excited to see what next year’s squad looks like (send me your resume and I’ll forward it to AJ when they’re looking for a coach in three months).  Darren proved why he should have been a bigger part of this offense (go with the hot hand), with 12 carries/catches for 64 yards, and a pair of scores.

9. The bad: First, I really would like to know where this intensity has been all year.  It’s like they thought they could just turn it on at the end of the season like they did in 2007, but it just happened two weeks too late…Also, while it was nice to see LT willing to take a hit and keep moving his feet, it’s impossible for me to celebrate 25-91 and one touchdown.  Last time they hosted the Raiders he had 198 yards, four scores, and an average of 8.3 yards a carry.  To the high school running backs reading this: forget your knees.  Take care of those toes.

10. I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention Pipes’ major gripe with this game, namely that it was a waste of the powder blue throwbacks, which they wore on the field.  He argues that they should’ve been used against the Colts.  He’s not wrong, but I think the Chargers should have worn their throwback quarterback pressure in that game instead.

11. Fire Norv.