There have been a lot of tall tales told about ol’ Prospector Pete, so as we prepare to talk about yesterdays’ Big West Mascot Mayhem event, held at ESPN Zone in Downtown Disney, let’s try and get the facts straight.  First, while the team he tirelessly supports has had its ups and downs, Prospector Pete is, himself, incapable of losing.  Anything.  If Prospector Pete were a superhero (and he probably is), his superpower would be the ability to always win at everything, all the time. 

That said, ol’ Pete is a benevolent sort as well.  Those who remember the old 1930’s Action Comics serials may remember that Clark Kent once wanted to join the football team, but abstained at Pa Kent’s urging.  Why?  Because he’s freaking Superman, and that wouldn’t be fair, that’s why.  And so it was that Prospector Pete arrived at the ESPN Zone, willing to not demolish the competition, in order to spare their feelings.

First there was the arm wrestling competition, which Pete’s realistic foam-molded muscles clearly made him the favorite to win—graciously, he let Matty the Matador take the competition.  The strongest man in the world doesn’t need any ribbons.  That’s why he let his team take the dive in the tug-o-war competition as well.

He let Pacific’s PowerCat win the Hula Hoop contest because, frankly, hula hooping is not Prospector Pete’s style.  Riverside’s Scotty the Bear won the video game horse-racing contest because Pete was too busy laughing at the idea of a bear, an elephant, a PowerCat, and a horse all riding horses.  Famously, he has a superpowered sense of humor. 

To be honest, he should have won the free-throw shooting contest.  That one was just laziness—but how can you ask Picasso to touch up the door frame?  Or Michael Jordan to shag balls for you during your shootaround?  Artistic genius can’t be contained by a free-throw shooting contest.

After all the scores were tallied, the pretend winner was Riverside’s Scotty the Bear.  He got a pretend trophy, and a pretend certificate, and dozens of pretend congratulations from the gathered crowd.  But none of it was real.  Why?  Because Prospector Pete had been using his mind-control powers to push Scotty to victory the whole time.  We’re not making this up, it’s one of his superpowers.  So, congrats to Scotty for the impressive performance, but a bigger congrats to Pete, for taking the high road.  We know it wasn’t easy, buddy, but history will remember you as the day’s real winner.

Pete allows Scotty the Bear to enjoy his pretend victory.