Photo by Remains.

The bond between people and their pets is a very special one, often as fulfilling for many people as their human relationships are. Most pets are considered members of the family, so the connection between people and their pets is well worth understanding. While most people love their furry friends dearly, it’s sometimes hard for them to understand their behavior and to see how much their own actions and emotions affect how their pet behaves. Cats and dogs tend to be different in their focus and response, so for this article, we’ll talk about dogs.

Dogs have evolved as social animals, so they tend to be very adept at reading your physical, vocal and emotional cues. A dog’s place in a pack, or even his very survival, can depend on his ability to communicate with the pack members around him. Now that we have house pets, you and your family become the pack members. Whether we’re aware of it or not, our dogs are constantly watching our actions and behavior in order to understand their world. While they may not understand your words, your body language, tension level and vocal cues are all providing a wealth of cues.

“She knows she’s done something wrong.”

This is a common misconception about dog behavior. Say that Bella is slinking around, licking her lips, or rolling over on her back when you come home to find the garbage torn to bits all over the floor. She looks guilty, right? You might assume that your dog knows that she is not supposed to get into the garbage and that she somehow knows she’s been bad and is expecting punishment.

Dogs live very much in the moment, and asking this kind of human-level cognition of Bella is a little unrealistic. She knows she’s going to get reprimanded by your tone, your tension level and your body language. She may not really understand why this is happening, but since it happens every time there’s garbage on the floor, she expects it. It’s easy for people to jump to the conclusion that the dog”knows” she’s guilty. Scolding Bella over and over for doing something very natural (like eating garbage) simply sets her up for failure. Setting the dog up for success by confining her away from garbage when you’re not home and then actively teaching her to leave it alone when you are there tends to be much more successful.

“He just hates going to the vet!”Another example of how we can unwittingly set our dogs up for negative experiences is a visit to the vet. Your veterinarian and the entire staff are dedicated to helping you and your pet, and in fact, you can be pretty sure that they’re all animal lovers. So, why are veterinary visits so stressful for some dogs?

There are a lot of reasons. They include the car ride, being in a strange place, strange people, dogs barking and a lot of strange smells. The actual procedure, whether it’s a blood draw, an ear cleaning or a vaccination, is usually not so stressful. In fact, some dogs are so worried about everything else that they hardly notice the procedure. Sometimes, of course, veterinary visits are stressful, especially when there’s an emergency or your dog is in pain or injured. But the majority of vet visits should not be worrisome.

But what if your dog is already off on the wrong foot before arrival without realizing it? Dogs are especially sensitive to your moods and emotions, even if they don’t understand all the words. Little Captain may not know the meaning of the words he just hates going to the vet, but he can certainly read your mood, the tone of your voice and your tension level.

You may think Captain’s shaking and panting in the car because he knows he’s going to the vet, but is he really responding to your tone and your tension? Do your posture, tone, expression and feeling change when you say “He loves going to the vet!”? Even if this isn’t really true, what if you make this a habit? Could this help your dog? Since you are far more important to your dog than the vet visit is, even small changes in your behavior could really help your dog relax.

The first thing to remember is that the actual event (needle poke, ear cleaning, getting X-rays, etc.) usually isn’t such a big deal. Your dog is constantly aware of how you are feeling, and any anxiety, tension or stress on your part, even if it’s related to other things, will be felt by your dog. If you’re not worried about these things, then your dog doesn’t need to be, either. What most stressed-out dogs are responding to at vet visits is ambiguity. In the absence of strong leadership on your part, things could go either well or not so well at the vet’s, and it’s hard for a dog to know the difference, especially if his favorite person is already tense. A relaxed dog owner who’s providing good leadership works wonders for dogs in any situation.

Try these pointers if you have an anxious dog. This is specifically for vet visits, but you can adapt it for most potentially stressful situations:

* Smile and say to your dog, “You love going to the vet’s!” Repeat this at any time, not just before the visit, when you yourself are relaxed and calm.

* The phrase My dog hates going to the vet is never, ever going to be useful, so we can retire its use.

* Before your dog has an appointment, take him or her in for several “happy visits”: just five or 10 minutes in and out, get on and off the scale, and, if permitted, a brief walk to the treatment area. It’s important that he have the experience of being without you for a time when nothing bad happens and then going home. No need to become nervous.

* If your dog is particularly treat motivated, this can add to the positive conditioning.

* For an actual appointment, take special care with your language, tone and actions. Smiling is very relaxing, and so is making positive statements like “You love going to the vet’s!” or “What a good girl (or boy) you are!” However, make sure that you’re not rewarding negative behavior (growling, barking, any kind of aggressive displays). Reward the dog for good behavior, such as sit and stay. It’s very reassuring to a dog when he or she can do something you want.

* Once in the exam room, sit down and lean back—this is calming and relaxing to both of you.

* Hand the leash over to the assistant or veterinarian and gently look away: this is a clear message to the dog that everything is okay, that you trust these people, that you’re both here to have your problems addressed, that your dog is going to become and stay healthy—these are all good reasons to be here. Remaining tense and on the edge of your seat and staring at your dog tends to send the message that this really isn’t okay.

* Excessive petting and stroking when the dog is overly anxious typically just reinforces their nervousness. Petting when the dog is relaxed helps him or her become more relaxed.

* Some dogs are less nervous when they can’t see their favorite person, especially if they have a strong need to ‘protect.’ This is even more pronounced if your dog is not getting strong leadership from you—if the situation is ambiguous and you’re tense, the dog may really feel like you need protecting, and become aggressive.
* Obedience training in general tends to be very beneficial to you and your dog, since it strengthens the human-animal bond and helps to develop positive patterns for coping with stress. Many veterinarians will tell you that dogs with obedience training are generally much less anxious than other dogs.

We have a link on LBAH’s website about training puppies from six to 16 weeks of age. This is your chance to start them off on the right foot (or is that paw)?