2:00pm | If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten.    

-Anthony Robbins

I love this quote. And it has a lot to do with dating and your search for love. How many months or years have you been unable to find that fun companion or love in your life? Have you been looking and looking and that person just hasn’t yet shown up?

If you’re reading this, I’m figuring that what you’ve been doing so far just isn’t working for you. And as long as you stay the same and keep doing things the same way, you will remain in the same situation.

Listen, your partner won’t just show up. YOU have to show up and help make it happen. And the only way you can do that is by learning, growing, and, yes… by doing some changing.

Here’s what worked for me: become the very best You that you can be. I spent years as single I’m happy-without-a-man-but-gee-I’d-like-one Bobbi. I was intent on believing that I could stay the same and one day I’d meet the guy who accepted me as I was. It wasn’t until I made some fundamental changes in myself and starting doing new things that I was able to change from that super single gal to the holy-crap-I’ve-actually-snagged-my-dream-man-and-loving-my-life woman I am today.

So change something. Do something different. Get out and reach out. Go somewhere new, wear something different, open up to different types of people, say something a new way (to yourself and to others).

Here are some suggestions. Don’t stop at one. Do as many as you can over the next few weeks. First, go to one of the many events happening in our great city.

  • Long Beach Bike Fest: Check out all the events going on over the next few days at longbeachbikefest.com. You don’t have to be a rider to go mingle and have some fun!  
  • Come see me and learn how to “Have Fun Dating” on May 13th at 7:00pm at Bogarts Coffee House in Seal Beach
  • Ongoing events like Salsa classes, lectures, Karaoke Parties, etc. longbeach.com/calendarofevents
  • Local Farmer’s Markets
  • Classes for art, cooking, fitness, computers, sailing, etc. through our award-winning Parks and Recreation Department. (Do you know LB Parks & Recs has been awarded “Best in the Nation” year after year?)
  • Volunteer to help kids, the elderly, animals, the homeless, or the environment or at one of our local city agencies (they all really need you!)  Click here or here for more info.
  • Check out the hundreds of get-togethers on meetup.com. You’ll find ones for singles, shared interests, education… all kinds of things.

Then, while you’re out, practice connecting and just having fun.

  • Look straight into the eyes of that guy or gal you pass or see across the room…for 3 full seconds…and then smile. (Try it. It’s scary at first but after a couple times it’s easy, and you’ll be amazed at how well it helps you meet people.)
  • Ask the person behind you in any line any question. I don’t know what. Just think of something. Try “Do you know of any other events going on this weekend?”
  • Give someone a compliment. Tell them you like their t-shirt, they have nice eyes, or that you agree with them or liked what they said about something (Yes, that makes people feel good and creates connection!)
  • Ask someone to help you do something. Reach something in the store, suggest a great place for dinner, give you directions. And when they do, make sure you smile big and say, “Thank you.” (Ladies, this is especially for you. It’s time you let men help you. They love to do it.)

And if you just aren’t ready to get out, you can:

  • Tell 5 people that you are looking for a fantastic person in your life and ask each to help you meet two new people.  (Got the math? That can be a lot of new possibilities.)
  • Ask a friend of the opposite gender to teach you something about men/women that they think you don’t know or understand.
  • Go buy new underwear, makeup, have your hair done… something that helps you feel and look more fabulous.
  • Gals, wear lipstick and shave your legs. Guys, iron your pants and take off that baseball cap.

I know you don’t know me too well yet, but you can trust me on this.  Do something that lets you feel what it’s like to connect, learn something, feel attractive, feel powerful, and sense movement in your life. You might learn that it’s not so scary and maybe your perception or future experiences might just shift a bit. And hey, you might even have some fun!

Let me know how it goes and what ideas you have. Post here or email me at bobbi@lbpost.com. Have a great weekend!